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amosbuford · Joined: 11 Feb 2008 Posts: 1

Well, I think that it might be different for everyone. For me, it's faith in Judaism. But I admit, it's also a more universal reason, the wanting marriage, and wanting a marriage that will last. I think many people of different faiths will understand that. I happened to be in a Shidduch, a traditional jewish "arranged marriage." Unlike Indian marriages or whatever stereotype you have in mind when you hear "arranged", the shidduch is basically no different that courtship was in this country (the US), a hundred, 2 hundred years ago. A man and woman are introduced by what's called a Shudcan, or matchmaker. Then, if they kind of like each other, the man goes to the woman's father, and asks for permission to court her. In Judaism, at least in orthodoxy, men and women are not permitted to touch until marriage. Period. So, although this woman and I were not allowed to touch, we did hold hands on one occassion. I wanted to do it, yes, but I loved her, and while most people find that a reason to go for it, I found it a reason to hold out. I actually think I'd be more apt to have sex with someone I didn't care THAT much about, because I respected her. Well, the shidduch didn't work out, and of course, my resolve has dimmed alot since then. But my reasons, still remain the same as ever, I want a wife and children. My ability to fight against all this is directly tied to whether or not I can believe I will ever get married someday. With her gone I have lost alot of that hope. And with my friends getting married, when they'd put their dicks into anything that moved, I lose heart. I keep thinking I'm the only one left. I thank you for starting this post, at least, to let us who are out there know that we're not alone; and for the record, I'm 23.